My battle with Hidradenitis Suppurativa has been getting on my last nerve!!

I have Hidradenitis Suppurativa. It is a skin condition that happened in armpits, groin, butt, under the breasts, behind the ears, in the folds of your neck, etc. I have tried topical antibiotics, oral antibiotics, Severe acne medicine, topicals and oral, and finally, I tried Humira injunctions when with my fear of needles. I'm done trying to control this condition because when I try this or try that, it never works. Now after some research, I found out that changing my diet can help. I love food! And my favorite food is pizza! The research I found says that yeast can cause the flare ups I have. So, starting Monday, February 11th, 2019, I'm reducing my yeast intake. Yes, that means no pizza, grilled cheese sandwiches, no bun on burgers, no peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, no bread, no beer, or any food or beverages that are high in yeast. I can't go on with my body causing me pain with Abscesses and boils and the fluid that comes out of them. I had enough of the pain and enough cleaning up "crime scenes" the bumps cause. I just want clear skin in the inferno areas. As of right now, my problem areas are my armpits and butt. So, every time I'm sitting, which is 24/7 because of my wheelchair use, I'm in pain! And when I move my arms up or down, I'm in pain! No medicine has helped! So, I prayed for God to take the wheel! I'm done dealing with it! Hidradenitis Suppurativa! It's time to go! 

Day 7- creative juices 6/15/18

I had a day full of creativity. I

Day 6- GETTER DONE 6/14/18

I had a day full of getting stuff done. When life throws you curve balls at 2 strikes you have to protect the plate. I got so news that made me go in "Getter done" mode. For my nosy, readers out there, sorry but this situation will not be discussed.  I needed to get information. Did that. ✔. After it all I feel so I'm powered! For life stuff and I dealt with it. I couldn't rely on anyone to help. Even though the information and situation wasn't directly my issue and people would say it's not my problem, I had to step up and "better done" for the person who needed that information.

So after that, I had trouble with finding a ride to my church. We have 2 weekly night services. One on Tuesday and another on Thursday. I get to Tuesday night bible study with ease. But when it comes to Thursday night prayer it becomes extremely hard to find a ride. Not a lot of people come, so people who can come pick me up goes down tremendously. So I had driver set up but she has an injury. I don't and would not let her drive me and have to do manual work while injured. So my hunt was one and I was unsuccessfully. I decided I will go to prayer when I start driving myself. It will be easier for everyone that way.

Day 5- Not a false alarm 6/13/18

So remember I said I was going to talk autonomic dysreflexia, well the day is today. I got dysreflexic. Meaning I was getting signs of autonomic dysreflexia. The sign starts with chills, Goosebumps, and a headache. When the headache starts it's all downhill from there. I get a fever and with me I get low blood pressure when quadriplegics get high blood pressure. Similar symptoms of preeclampsia in pregnant people. Anatomic dysreflexia can lead to Strokes, seizures, and even death. I had a few friends who passed away from this condition. It's no fun. Reason why we get dysreflexia is because of our level of injury. Our brain gets pain signals from the body and the brain tries to send pain signals back to identify where the pain is coming from but our spinal injury causes our brain to keep those signals and our body develops series of symptoms. So it's a guessing game on what is going on if you have no sensation. It could be a ingrown toenail, a full bladder or bowel, a burn or scrape, your socks might be too tight or a bladder infection , or any other infection for that matter. The list can go on and on and on.

Fast forward to today. Yesterday I said I had a false alarm, well today there was no false alarm. I got goosebumps, chills, and a headache telling me I need to poop. I couldn't wait until the afternoon when my second caregiver comes to relieve me of my number two. So instead of just getting dressed and going to therapy, I had to cancel therapy and start my bowel program. Thank God I didn't have an accident in bed. I knew I was full of crap that needs to come out.

Day 4- false alarm 06/12/18

When it comes to beings quadriplegia, you have little to no hand function. Depending upon your level of injury, you could have more or less than any other quad. Before my accident, I was clumsy! Not just a little bit! I was the most clumsiest person ever! It seems like I was in the ER every other month for having an accident like tripping over my own two feet or spraining my ankle going down stairs. So getting injured and being a quad did not help with my clumsiness. It enhanced it a hundred fold. So with my daily activities, my clumsiness made it hard for me to do anything. Dropping binders and folders and books on the floor made it difficult for me to maneuver in my own room. So after dropping every single book and notebook I have on the floor I drop a huge chair on top of it. So not only did I have to pick up the books off the floor  I have to pick up a chair off the floor also. I use a grabber to pick things up off the floor. I have two Grabbers and for some reason they both were out of my reach due to the things on the floor. The only thing I could pick up was the massive chair and that took all my energy and about 20 minutes to do. With all that energy expelled , I felt as if I was going to have an accident. But not just any accident, number two. Yes. Meaning I had to call my caregivers at work to see if any of them can come and change me. The only way I know that I had an accident if I get goosebumps . Yes I said it Goosebumps .  Goosebumps is an indicator of me getting autonomic dysreflexia .  I will describe autonomic dysreflexia another day. But the Goosebumps tell me that my poop  has reached the exiting portion of my body. With my Grabbers Out Of Reach, I wait for someone to get home to change my clothes and pick up my papers off the floor. So normally my Goosebumps do not lie however today was different. When my caregiver comes  and gets ready to change my clothes, my Goosebumps lied. There's no poop in the shoot! Not at all. I felt so defeated. I just knew something was going on! My day was ruined with clumsiness and false alarms but yet I live to see another day.

Day 3- poop!!! Read at your own risk! Its graphic!! 6/11/18

This was a typical Monday. I put some laundry away, "cleaned" my room, and did my my bowel program. For those who don't know, a bowel program is something people with spinal cord injuries have to do everyday or every other day. With my bowel program, my caregiver will put me on a shower commode and digitally stimulate my anal sphincter to help my body release fecal matter naturally. Sometimes, well almost all the time, my caregiver will have to digitally stimulate me until fecal matter can be reached and handled. I know it's graphic but that's how I poop! Education is needed! Knowledge is the key to life!! But...The rest of my night was full of me catching up on YouTube and conversation with my love.

Day 2- Disclaimer: bodily fluids will be mentioned 6/10/18

My day started off BAD! If any one knows about a neurologic bladder, then they would know that it's unpredictable. I get bladder spasms and I have to take medicine for those spasms. When I take my medicine on time like I'm supposed to, I expect  for my bladder not to spasm. So after draining my bladder the right before I go to bed, I woke up to my bedding soaked. My bladder can roughly hold almost  2000 cc's ( roughly 67 ounces). However my doctor doesn't want my bladder to be extended more than 700 cc's (roughly 23 ounces). My bed had at least 1500 + cc's saturated within it and I was still spasming and leaking from my stoma. So I began to take my catheter and drain thinking maybe it should be only a little bit left in there. NO... I had more than 1200 cc's (roughly 40 ounces) in my bladder. Enough to saturate another bed set.  I started a new  medication the day before  so I thought maybe it could one of the side effects of the medication. It was over 24 hours and your body is still getting used to the different medications. RIGHT? I had a day planned full of activities I wanted to do starting with church and ending with going to The Hip Hop Museum in Oakland. So I cancelled my ride to church because I do not trust my bladder at this point. But when I'm taking my medication and draining correctly and I'm still having accidents, I don't want to sit in church peeing on myself. Don't get me wrong, I have had accidents outside of my home before. Those times I felt so embarrassed and couldn't explain why I have a puddle in my lap. Trying to cover it up with a bag, a sweatshirt, or even a blanket. It's the most embarrassing thing. Not to mention the smell. Even though it's something that happens and I have no control over it, I still get embarrassed and I feel ashamed! So I ended up staying home watching what I drank and try to relax and get my mind off of my bladder.  All in all I had an bad morning but an okay day.

Day 1- Laundry 6/9/18

I decided I will go back to writing. This time daily! Well hopefully, I will write a journal entry each day. With that said let's begin...

Today was a good day. Nothing too exciting. Just a lot of LAUNDRY! I had so much clothes to hang up and I cleaned out my sock drawer. I put my winter socks away. By the in of my day, My mood was relaxed with a little chaos. At the end of the day, it was pure joy!! I ran some errands, got dinner, and went to bed.

Damn Moana!

It's a trip how a movie will remind you of things. Bring up emotion inside of you that you're trying to keep down inside. As I fold clothes and watch Moana as back ground nosie, I think of my grandmother. In the movie, as soon as the grandmother gets involved with Moana leaving the island she passes away and it makes me cry everytime. Me and my grandmother was so close. She was my best friend. I told her everything and she knew everything without me telling her. It's sad that a Disney movie gets me so emotional and makes me cry over the relationship that I used to have with my grandmother. Maybe it's the way she died and how she died or the fact that she's just gone. I've been strong for these past years. Now, it takes the smallest thing and I think of my grandmother and I just cry no matter where I am a matter or what I'm doing. I know this isn't normal blog you hear from me but sometimes I just need to let my emotions out.

Approaching my last day of fasting!

For the past 29 days I've been fasting ftom social media. All forms of social media such as  but not limited to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, etc. I felt I needed a break from the world. My focus has been on reading God's word and reading different devotionals. Being off social media was such a refreshing time. I did not have to worry about who said what or who posted what. The one thing I miss was receiving daily pictures from certain people so I had some pictures to messaged to me via text message.

These past 29 days allowed me to focus on God's word and what he has for me. I see my role in the kingdom and I'm gladly to uphold all the characteristics of my role.

So in 34 hours I will log back into all my social media accounts but I refuse to let the drama back into my life. I will post this blog entry to remind people that I am a changed person. If you are not friends with me on Facebook, if I don't follow you on Twitter, if I don't follow you on Instagram, it's because you are toxic to my spirit. I no longer care about how many likes I have on a photo. I no longer care about who's doing what and who's worried about who. But I know social media is a place to connect and a place to network. I'm going to need social media to help me with my role.

Just because I don't follow you on social media doesn't mean I don't love you. God is love and God loves me so and return I love you. But God didn't say that I have to listen to all your words and all your nonsense and all your drama... Christian ain't got time for that!

First day of school - first day of student teaching

My first day of student teaching was amazing! I started my day as the adult in the cafeteria making sure every child ate their food and cleaned up their area before they left to go to class. Once my shift was over, I went to my classroom to observe the teacher I'm doing student teaching with. The first couple of hours are just me observing and commenting on a few things and learning the kids names. After lunch I started with a read-aloud. The kids are so engaged and I made myself proud! The day was exciting and full of fun!

Day 1 of no social media!

Yesterday was so relaxing not having a alert on my phone that tells me I have a new post to look at on Facebook or someone is going live on Instagram. Instead it was filled of worship and studying.

I went to church and did not look at my phone (other than to use the Bible app). After church, I didn't have to check my Facebook. I wasn't consumed with social media that I was able to run errands with my mom and have conversation with her.

Nevertheless, day one was a breeze! Question: is social media missing me? We'll find out after the 30 days.

I deleted all my social media accounts

I've been wanting to fast from social media for a few years now. After seeing a good friend of mine do it, I decided to deactivate Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. I deleted the apps off my phone and I have a fresh new start with no distractions. I even deleted Netflix and Xfinity so I won't be tempted to watch movies or television shows.

This will get me to open my bible more instead of watching a YouTube video. I need to put God first in my life instead of social media and technology, which is just a distraction right now. Not to mention, I start student teaching on the 16th and my class starts on the 22nd. This will allow me not to procrastinate and to have no excuse why I'm not getting homework and lessons done.

So, I'm giving myself 30 dsy. It might extend to 40 days, maybe even 60 days. We'll let the Lord decide how long I'm away from social media.

My goal is to get closer to God through His Word, prayer, and fasting. I will try blog about my days and I will try to keep this up day to day. Pray for me!!

First Song of the Day

This was the first sound I listened to this morning after I prayed for God to place His voice in my ear.
I DARE everyone to listen to Fred Hammond and Radical for Christ - I Want My Destiny . I DARE you! Look and listen to the lyrics!
Do you really want your Destiny? #God'sWill Or are you going to keep running from Him?
Keep saying  I will as soon as I do this one thing! No let God take care of the one thing!  Do you have issues your trying to handle yourself? Problems your trying to fix on your own? The answer to the issue and problem is God! No one can answer those issues and problems like He can!
Once we let stuff go and Give it to God , He can FINALLY do His Job!
AGAIN! I DARE EVERYONE TO LISTEN TO FRED HAMMOND AND RADICAL FOR CHRIST- I WANT MY DESTINY. Fred Hammond and Radical for Christ - I Want My Destiny
God wants us to come to Him in our time of need. When we try to fix things, we try to fix them to benefit this world. When we "fix" the problem, it keeps circles around and the devil brings it back like a boomerang But God will fix the problem for His Will and the devil can't get through to us!
God is trying to get you to see that Jesus is the force field that is between us and the world's issues!
God told me long ago, "Why are you stressing yourself out? When if you let problem go and give it to me you will be free from the stress and the pain from the problem!"

So  God wants us to thrive! But we can't thrive when we buck against His process and program. Trying to live with the mindset that this world is our Destiny! We are destined for some much more! The world is so small compared to what God has for us! But we can't have what He has for us if we don't line up and sign up to do God's will!

Day One at a New School!

I started a new position at a different elementary school. If you don't know I've been volunteering at one elementary school for about 4 to 5 years. I was helping where there was a need. So when I got the opportunity to get a paid position I jumped! Leaving my comfort zone. 

I got to new elementary school with a huge kool-aid smile ready to work! I went to the office and told the office manager "I'm reporting for duty." From there, my day started. I looked through the curriculum and got familiarized with some of my duties. Get this, it is the SAME thing I was doing at the old school. Helping where there is a need! I know  I will miss my friends who helped me to the place I am now! You will always have a place in my heart!

I thank God for allowing me to get this position and I thank Him for the people who started that process to get me the position ( I love you sister! You know who you are!). God has blessed me and I thank Him everyday! I went from volunteering for free to working and getting paid! WON'T HE DO IT!

Disclaimer: to save the identities of the parties mentioned,  no names are stated.

The disconnect

I love when God shows you things and explains things to you! For example, my whole church went on a week long fast from midnight to noon. As I was praying for my church, I was going through my own situations. I kept asking myself... "Why are relationship with my friends more important to me than to those friends? Why do I have to hound them to hang out? Why don't I get invited? Why do I see everyone else having fun together on social media while I'm at home watching  Netflix? It would be nice to get a invite or a "how are you" text or even a phone call back. Is it my chair?" *Disclaimer: not all friendships, just a few of them!*
But God made it very clear. I was of the world when those friendships were at their best but now that I don't drink, smoke, party, etc., and I put God and my salvation first, there is no room for those people in my life. So I will stop trying to force that  connection we had in the past. I will always love and cherish what we had but I need to move on and keep walking with my Lord and Savior! You are welcome to come with me but I can't turn back like Lot's wife. No pillar of salt for me! The past is the past for a reason. I need to stop and think of what is more important. My old friends that can lead me back to my old ways or my salvation and relationship with my God! I think that is a no-brainer! JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!

When you have no control, give it to God!

This has been a tough week and it's only Wednesday! My relationship with certain people are shifting and I have no control over any of it. I'm completely lost in limbo. BUT I REFUSE TO LET THE DEVIL RUIN ANYTHING THAT GIVES ME JOY! So I will let God handle those relationships and I will see the good in every situation I am put through! My smile will remain on my face as I conquer this mountain!
I will pray even harder for those relationships! I will not stop loving them and I will not talk ill about them. But I will not stoop low and fight about it. The devil wants to steal blessings, kill relationships, and destroy salvation. He will not be successful! I declare, right now, during my situation and heartbreak, the devil is DEFEATED! He has no power!

As I cry, God will be praised! As my heart breaks, I will rejoice! As I feel this void, I will replace it with His Word! He will give me the comfort I need. I never run a race alone because He is always with me! So if you are reading this, stand and agree with me! Pray with me! God will get the Glory!

6 wonderful years!

On this day, 6 years ago, I was in a traumatic life-changing accident. I scared a lot of people including myself. That was the day that God changed my life for the better. He gave me new fashion accessories which include a wonderful purple power wheelchair. Some may see my chair and see me limited but in my eyes, God has given me life and he's given it to me more abundantly! These past years have been so blessed with me meeting Forever Friends, a wonderful God sent ministry Living Bread Ministries, closer bonds with people I had already in my life, and has taking away people who used and abused me. I want to thank God on today for allowing me to see an extra 6 years of my life after such a traumatic day. When all you can do is live, you do it to the fullest! So I want to encourage whoever is reading this and let them know that life might throw you into a world Wind but there's nothing that God can see you through! Don't worry about things you can't change or worry about things you can't do, focus on your life and how meaningful it is to you! My God would never put things on me that I can't handle, and from day one 6 years ago I knew God had a purpose for saving me from death and allow me to live just to say these words and to lift him up in all the glory! For all the non-believers who are reading this, I challenge you to try Christianity! Allowed Jesus Christ into your heart and you will see life and you will see it more abundantly!

Quote of the day

"Don't let anyone lie to you, your life has a purpose!
All you have to do is search for it and you will find it!"
-Christian Rountree(me)

Before  my accident, back in 2010, I can truly say I didn't know my purpose. I knew I was going to school to be a teacher but deep down I felt that my life was just mediocre. I thought life was about having fun with friends, partying every weekend and during the week. At that time, my life had no meaning. It wasn't until my car accident on February 13, 2010, when I began to realize that life was more than friends and parties. Being a follower of Jesus Christ, I knew that God  saved that day for a reason. My purpose in life was much greater than just being a teacher. My purpose in life is to encourage others to keep going in life. Your situation is temporary because God has a plan to get you out of it and reveal to you your true purpose!

My purpose in life is to teach, encourage others, spread the Gospel, worship my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and to do it all in Jesus Mighty Name because without Him, I would not be here. Yes, I may be in a wheelchair as of right now but that is all apart of God's Master Plan for me. Our situations might be completely different but we have to trust that God will deliver us out of the bad situation into a good one. So don't let anyone lie to you, your life has a purpose! Your current situation isn't were God is going to leave you. All you have to do is search for it and you will find it! Trust in God to reveal it to you!

My Disability Rant

Whoever knows me knows I was in a car accident on 2010. By the grace of God, I survived that accident. I am now diagnosed as a quadriplegic. I get muscle spasms. I have sensation. I feel when I need to shift my body to prevent bed sore. I can move my toes on my right foot. I can move some fingers. I just can't move my legs freely, YET! Just recently, My God had showed my walking again. My God has showed me getting out of my powerchair and running around my church's Sanctuary! I did not ask for that. I ask Him to use me to show others how powerful He is.

I work my butt off twice a week at physical therapy. Yes, after 5 years I'm still in therapy. It has helped me gain the strength to transfer myself to and from the chair and going up and down hill. My strength has increased.

From being abled body to living with a physical disability SUCKS. I'm not going to sugar coat it. From being able to walk, run, go upstairs, jump into waves, the list goes on, to having to make sure you go places that is wheelchair accessible, making sure there are ramps, elevator, doors that are wide enough, SUCKS! Not have the sensation to use the restroom and having to worry about using a catheter and having to catheterization every 4 to 6 hours, SUCKS! I did not ask for this! However, life after the diagnosis is not the end of the world. Yes, I wish I can play softball again! Yes, I want to not have to think about having an bladder or bowel accident! Yes, I want to go through the clothing store and not run into clothing racks. Yes, I want my body to go back to how it used to be! But life with my physical disability has changed my views on what is normal.
I can live with my physical disability. I might have to keep more things on my mind. I might have some obstacles in my daily life, but I can still live an amazing life with my disability!

If you truly think about it, there are some perks to having a disability. My shoes never get dirty! They look new every time I put them on. In my power chair, i can go faster than someone walking! I get VIP parking everywhere I go. I don't have to wait in lines at any theme park. I don't have to wait in the women's restroom. I always get the big stall in the restroom. I always have a chair to sit in! I can make people move out of the handicap areas so the people who are with me can have a place to sit.

When you see me and your first thought is 'poor Christian,' shame on you! Pity is not what you should feel for me. I have never had pity on myself and I will not accept it from anyone else! I can't look at the things I can't do. If I dwell on those things, I will be depressed! I look at my life and say 'I'm alive! What can I do to make my life meaningful?' I personally have NEVER said WHY ME! I still have a purpose in this world. Life is more meaningful now than it was before my accident. I'm in school to become a teacher, which was the same dream I had before my accident. I volunteer at an elementary school. I tutor children who struggle with school. Helping others was always my goal in life.

My God has opened my eyes of what life really means and if I dwell on my disability, I will not have time to live my life to the fullest. God has given me peace and I want to share that peace with the world!  Hopefully this reaches someone who needs to hear these things. May God bless you!